A Smile

I used to limit how much I smiled. That’s a shame right? Not on purpose necessarily, I don’t think I realized I was doing it…my smile just faded. I don’t know when exactly but I know at some point in my early-mid 20’s my smile just faded. I don’t know if it was going through the difficulties of being a newly-wed or a new mom while just barely finishing college. It may have ben because I gained over 100 pounds within two years and most of that within pregnancy. I had this foreign body, foreign life and I felt lost I think? I know for over a decade I fought with my body and trying to build a life that felt right to me and seek happiness.

I’ll tell the entire story eventually but for now know it was a battle to get this smile back. I believe the smile IS BACK!! I just want to say that throughout the last 15-20 years of my life (wow that sounds old) I have truly learned to find inner happiness. The smile I feel and know radiates from something deep inside…a knowing and a confidence that came with overcoming some big things in life and knowing I can do anything I want now.

ALSO…I finally feel comfortable in front of the camera. I imagine this is some sort of freudian thing where I desired to be a photographer because I was scared of being in front of the camera. I imagine it’s some sort of deep psychological thing where I wanted to make sure everyone felt way more beautiful than I did. Now I feel beautiful alongside everyone else and it’s made me an even better photographer. I’m always looking for how to improve and how to look at the more positive side of life. So if any of the things I went though from my early 20s to late 30s that took my body from normal to 190 pounds overweight and deeply sad and then I was able to lose the weight and overcome those things….I think anyone can and I’m happy to share how I did it. For now, we’ll just state the fact that I did and that my smile is officially back. <3

Life is worth living